旦那が好きすぎる嫁必見!夫依存症を治す4つの方法

パートナーに関する悩み

「旦那のことが好きすぎる」

このセリフをいう嫁は夫婦仲がいい証拠?それとも夫依存症?

 

夫婦関係が良好であれば問題ないのですが、妻の一方的な発言である場合は夫依存症化もしれません。

今回の記事では夫依存症の特徴や解決方法についてお伝えしていきます。

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旦那が好きすぎて依存症になっていませんか?

旦那が好きすぎるというセリフのどこが問題なのでしょうか?

答えは「すぎる」の3文字にあります。

 

好きすぎるという人の場合、知らず知らずにその思いが旦那を束縛しています。

束縛をしすぎると最悪の場合は離婚の原因にもなりかねません。

 

愛情は相手に与える行為ですが依存症は相手の時間や行動、自由を奪う行為です。

旦那が好きすぎる人の特徴6つ

旦那が好きすぎる、いわゆる夫依存症の妻の特徴は次の6つです。

特徴1 いつも一緒にいたい

夫依存症の妻は常に旦那と行動を共にしたがります。

仕事から帰宅した旦那の後を離れません。

 

中には旦那のトイレや入浴が終わるのをドアの前で待つ妻もいます。

これでは仕事の疲れも取れませんし家庭が安らぎの場とはなりません。

 

一般的に結婚生活が長くなるほどお互いがひとりの時間を必要とするものです。

いつも一緒にいたい人は夫依存症の傾向が強いといえるでしょう。

特徴2 いつもくっついていたい

スキンシップは夫婦関係の維持に必要不可欠です。

とはいえ1日中ずっとくっついていられるのは夫の負担となります。

 

旦那にも趣味や息抜きの時間が必要なのにくっつかれていてはなにもできませんよね。

くっついていないと自分の存在に不安を感じる人は夫依存症かもしれません。

特徴3 いつも好きと伝えたい

嫌いといわれるよりも好きといわれるほうが嬉しいとはいえ1日中いわれ続けたらどうでしょうか?

 

私が好きといっているのだから旦那からも好きといって欲しい・・・

というような愛情の押しつけになっていませんか?

 

また夫依存症の人はインテリアや雑貨もハートモチーフや愛の言葉が描かれているものが増える傾向にあります。

特徴4 離れている時間も常に連絡する

旦那と離れている時間でも相手がいまどこにいてなにをしているのかを把握したがります。

頻繁にLINEを送ったり電話をかけたりしてしまいます。

相手からの返事がないと不安になったり怒ったりすることも特徴です。

特徴5 ひとりではなにも決められない

自分一人では物事の判断がつけられません。

ひどくなると旦那の指示や言葉がないと買い物さえできないという人もいます。

 

これは「こんなことをして(買って)旦那は自分をどう思うだろう?」と旦那の反応が気になるあまりの行動です。

特徴6 旦那の言葉に振り回される

夫依存症の人は旦那の言葉で感情が激しく浮き沈みします。

自分の感情が旦那の言葉によってコロコロと変わる状態であればかなり依存しているといえます。

 

ついには感情のコントロールが効かなくなり旦那の何気ない言葉ひとつで泣いたりするようになります。

旦那が好きすぎることによる辛さ6つ

夫依存症になると日常生活や人間関係のあらゆる場面で困ったことが起きます。

これからその代表的な6つをみていきましょう。

辛さ1 ひとりで過ごせなくなる

旦那のことばかり考えてしまいひとりでいてもなにも手につかない、なにをしていいのかわからない、という状態です。

家事も手につかなくなりそのことで夫婦関係に亀裂が生じることもあります。

辛さ2 嫉妬深くなる

自分以外の人間が旦那と親しくしていると嫉妬を覚えます。

嫉妬の対象は旦那の友人や家族、自分の子供にまでおよびます。

辛さ3 対人関係が減る

夫中心で生活をしていると知人との会話も旦那のことばかり。

そのため円滑なコミュニケーションがとれなくなりやがて疎遠になってしまうことも。

 

すると話し相手はダひとりだけとなり結局依存度が上がるという悪循環になることも考えられます。

辛さ4 旦那の仕事に支障が出る

仕事中の旦那にしょっちゅう連絡をしたり残業をしないように頼んだりして仕事の妨げとなる可能性があります。

また在宅で仕事をしている旦那の場合は自分の相手を強要することで邪魔をしてしまいます。

辛さ5 旦那にも自分の気持ちと同じ気持ちを求める

自分がこれだけ好きなのだからと旦那にも同じ気持ちを求めてしまいます。

さらにはその気持ちを言葉や態度で表すことを強要しがちです。

辛さ6 旦那のための日々に疲れる・病む

旦那のために家事をがんばったり綺麗でいようと努力したりすることは決して悪いことではありません。

ただしやりすぎると知らず知らずのうちに心身が疲労します。

 

また旦那が認めてくれないと自分自身を責めてしまい心身に不調をきたすようになる可能性もあります。

旦那への依存症を治す方法4つ

ではここからは夫依存症を軽減する方法についてみていきましょう。

方法1 ひとりの時間を楽しめるようになろう

旦那さんとの時間を楽しむのと同じくらいにひとりの時間も楽しめるようにしましょう。

具体的にはなにか興味のある分野の習い事を始めてみたり資格を取るための勉強を始めてみたりガーデニングにチャレンジしたり。

 

またペットを飼うことも愛情を旦那以外にも向けるいい機会になります。

好きなもの物事を見つけて自分のために時間を使う楽しさを知ることがとても大切なのです。

方法2 旦那以外の人と親しくなろう

旦那以外の人、友人や家族でもいいのでコミュニケーションを取るようにします。

旦那でなくても自分の気持ちを明かせる相手がいる、ということがこころの支えになるからです。

 

むしろ旦那以外の人とコミュニケーションを取ることで自分を客観視できるようになり夫婦の関係にもいい影響を与えるようになるでしょう。

方法3 旦那を信用しよう

旦那の行動が気になりすぎるということは裏を返せば信用していないことでもあります。

もしこれが逆の立場だったらどう感じますか?

 

信用してくれない相手を信用することはできませんよね。

旦那を信用して行動を監視したり束縛したりする行為は控えるのがお互いのためです。

方法4 自分の世界を広げよう

在宅でもバイト・パートでも構いませんので仕事を始めてみましょう。

仕事をして報酬を得ることは自分の自信にもつながりますし仕事を通じて今まで知らなかった世界が目の前にひらけます。

 

いままで旦那にしか向いていなかった興味や時間を仕事に向けることで依存する気持ちが徐々に変化していきます。

「旦那が好きすぎる嫁必見!夫依存症を治す4つの方法」まとめ

旦那を好きなことは決して悪いことではありません。

ただし好きすぎるあまり旦那を束縛したり重荷になっていたりしませんか?

 

夫依存症の人は無意識のうちに相手の自由を奪っています。

自分の不安感や寂しさを旦那だけで埋めようとせずほかのことや人に目を向けて下さい。

好きだからなにをしてもいいではなく好きだからこそ末永く一緒にいられるようにしましょう。

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