旦那が嫌いでたまらない!離婚か我慢か!?世間の声をまとめてみた

パートナーに関する悩み

永遠に続く愛を信じて結婚をした…

はずなのに、気がつけば旦那は嫌いの対象でしかなくなっているという人、実はたくさんいます。

 

そして妻に嫌われる旦那には決まっていくつかの共通点があります。

はっきり「旦那が嫌い!」と自覚したらあなたは離婚しますか?我慢しますか?

 

この記事では世間の奥様が、旦那さんを嫌いな理由や対処方法について解説します。

スポンサーリンク

旦那が嫌いでたまらない人は多い

旦那を嫌ってしまう自分に落ち込んではいませんか?

じつは旦那が嫌いでたまらない人は数多く存在しています。

 

ネットには「旦那が嫌い」「旦那のことが嫌いで仕方ない」から

嫌いを通り越して死んでほしい」という少々過激な言葉までがあふれています。

 

ここまで世の旦那たちは嫌われるようになってしまう理由とは。

旦那が嫌いでたまらない代表的な理由7つ

幸せなふたりの人生を描いて結婚したはずなのに、どうして旦那が嫌いと感じるまでに妻の気持ちは変わってしまったのでしょうか?旦那を嫌う主な理由は次の7つです。

理由1 仕事をしない

最近では女性が働いて男性が家のことをする専業主夫も増えていますがこの場合の仕事をしないとは外でも家でも働かない人のことです。

いわゆる稼ぎがない状態。

 

稼ぎがなくても家のことや育児をしながら求職活動を頑張るのであれば応援できます。

しかし、なにもせずにダラダラするだけ。これでは嫌われて当然です。

理由2 酒癖・ギャンブル癖がひどい

たまにお酒を飲んだり自分のお小遣いの範囲で楽しんだりしているうちはいいのです。

ただお酒やギャンブルがもともと好きな人の場合、しだいにのめりこむ傾向があるので注意が必要です。

遊ぶために家族に黙って借金を重ねたり依存症にかかったりする可能性も否定できません。

理由3 外見・体臭・態度などすべてが嫌い

いわゆる生理的に受け付けなく状態のことです。

もっといえば旦那の存在自体が許せない。

このようになるきっかけは浮気や結婚生活のストレスなどが要因です。

理由4 価値観が合わない

趣味や嗜好が違う夫婦は世の中にたくさんいますがこの場合の価値観とは金銭感覚のことです。

家や子供の教育資金など大きなお金が動く時に金銭感覚の違いを認識することが多々あります。

 

この時に「稼いでいるのは俺だから俺が決める」的な発言を旦那がすると

妻は自分の存在価値を否定されたように感じやがてそれが嫌悪感に変わるのです。

理由5 モラハラがひどい

モラハラとは直接的な暴力ではなく言葉や態度による暴力のことです。

亭主関白のことだろう」と都合よく解釈する男性もいますがまったく違います。

 

モラハラを行う人はとにかく自分中心。

自分の幸福感や満足感を得るために平気で妻や家族を傷つけます。

クズ夫&クズ旦那の特徴!事例も踏まえたポイント解説
「なんでこんなクズ夫・クズ旦那と結婚しちゃったのだろう?」 もしかしてあなたもこんな悩みを抱えていませんか? ダメ夫・ダメ旦那とクズ夫・クズ旦那の決定的な違いはなにか? それは多くの場合、ダメは直るけれどクズは直らない...

モラハラを旦那から受け続けると妻は一種のマインドコントロールを受けた状態になるため

モラハラをされるのは自分が悪いからだ」と考えるようになっていきます。

旦那が嫌いと思えるうちに第三者や専門機関に相談するようにしましょう。

理由6 家事・子育てを手伝わない

妻が専業主婦でも仕事を持っていても家事や育児に協力するのは、いまや常識。

それなのにまったく協力をしないばかりか、妻にあれこれと指示を出したり不満をいったりする旦那のなんと多いことでしょう。

 

それでいて自分はTVを見たりゲームをしたり好き勝手し放題。

「口を出すなら手伝う、手伝わないなら口も閉じる」これができない旦那は確実に嫌われます。

理由7 感謝をしない

やってもらうのが当たり前と考えている旦那、多いですよね。

やってもらえることに甘えないで妻に感謝の言葉を伝えている夫婦ほど円満です。

「ありがとう」や「美味しいね」などをいわない旦那ほど嫌われていきます。

嫌いでたまらない旦那との生活を続ける5つのコツ

嫌いでたまらなくても別居や離婚をしない限り生活は続きます。

そこでここからは嫌いでたまらない旦那との生活を続けるコツをお伝えしていきます。

コツ1 定期的にSNSや友達に吐き出す

旦那が嫌いという思いをSNSや友達に吐き出しましょう。

特にSNSでは同じ思いを抱えている人とつながれるので、話を聞いてもらったり共感しあったりすることで抱えているストレスが軽減されます。

コツ2 妥協して○○と割り切る

生きていくため、子供のため、と割り切ることも時には必要です。

旦那に愛情をまったく感じられないのであれば生活のためのATMや単なる同居人と思えばいいのです。

コツ3 夫婦の寝室を別にする

旦那を嫌いと感じているのに寝室が一緒なのは大変に苦痛です。

ましてや嫌いと思いながら夫婦生活などできるはずもありません。いま以上に嫌いにならないためにも寝室を別にしてみませんか?

 

妻は子供と寝る、旦那はひとりで寝る。

しばらく試してみてその後どうするかを決めてもいいでしょう。

コツ4 改善に向けて話し合う

嫌いという気持ちは言葉や態度に現れます。

よほど鈍い旦那でない限りはあなたの態度の変化や家庭の雰囲気の悪化に気がついています。

 

離婚を考えていないのであれば夫婦で話し合いの時間を持ってみませんか?あなたの気持ちはもちろんですが相手の気持ちを確認するいい機会です。

正直に伝え合うことで状況が改善する可能性もあります。

コツ5 旦那のいいところを見つけ伝える

旦那の「ここは嫌いだけれどこういうところは好き・尊敬できる」などいいところを探すことで気持ちが切り替わることもあります。

またいいところを見つけたら旦那に伝えることも大切。

 

褒められたり信頼されたりすることで旦那も少しずつ変わるきっかけとなります。直接伝えることが難しければLINEや手紙という方法もあります。

離婚するか否かの判断ポイント

旦那が嫌いになったからといってすぐに離婚へと進むわけではありません。

関係の修復へと向かうのか離婚への準備を始めるのか。それぞれ越えなければならない現実的な問題がいくつもあります。

離婚後の自分を考える

もしも離婚したらと考えた時に真っ先に考えるのが経済面のことです。

特に専業主婦の場合は経済的な理由から結論を出せないことが多くとりあえずは現状維持を選択する人がほとんどです。

 

また子供がいると生活費に加えて教育費も必要になるため旦那が嫌いでも結婚を維持するケースが目立ちます。

子供への影響を考える

自分は旦那を嫌いでも子供が父親を大好きという人はすぐに離婚という結論は出せません。

 

自分の感情で子供から父親を取り上げてしまっていいのか?と罪悪感を覚える人も多くいます。

また仮に離婚をした場合そのことが将来子供の人生に影響を与えるのではないかという不安も多くの人が抱えています。

決定的な根拠・証拠がない

旦那への気持ちはもう戻りそうもないけれど離婚ができるだけの根拠・証拠がないために離婚ができない人は多くいます。

 

DVや浮気の場合には生活の記録やスマホなどの履歴などが証拠になります。

ただ旦那への愛情がなくなったというだけでは夫側が離婚を承知しないケースも多く離婚できないまま月日が経過してしまいます。

「旦那が嫌いでたまらない!離婚か我慢か!?」まとめ

旦那を嫌うことは特別なことではありません。

むしろほとんどの人が一度は感じる感情かもしれません。

 

ただその嫌いの感情が改善されず強くなる一方であるならば、離婚という選択肢もあなたの人生の中に入ってきます。

無理に我慢するだけではなく色々な角度から自分の今後を考えてみませんか?

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