ママ友はいなくても大丈夫?子どもへの影響は?ママ友つきあいのコツ教えます

生活コラム

子どもの成長は親にとってなによりの喜びですが成長するにつれ

幼稚園・保育園・小学校と続くママ友つきあいのことを考えると憂鬱になりませんか?

 

実際ママ友つきあいが心配、面倒くさい、怖いと思っている人は予想外に多いものです。

あなたもそのうちの一人では?

 

今回はママ友つきあいのメリット・デメリットや

上手くママ友とつきあうコツなどをお伝えしていきますのでぜひ参考にして下さい。

スポンサーリンク

ママ友がいないと困るのか?

ママ友がいなくても「特に」困ることはありません。

 

2017年にマイナビニュースが行ったアンケートによると

ママ友0人と回答した人が1位で21,9%

ママ友5人と回答した人が15,9%で2位

以下ママ友1人と回答した人が8,6%

*参考サイト
マイナビニュース「ママ友と呼べる人は何人いる?

 

ママ友がいない人が1位という結果からもわかるように世間で考えられているよりも、実際にはママ友つきあいをしていない人が多いのです。

 

意気投合して生涯の友達になるようなママ友ができる人もいれば

あくまでも期間限定とわりきって浅いつきあいで終わるママ友しか作らない人もいます。

 

子どもへの影響を心配する人もいますが

園で子ども同士が楽しく遊べているのなら問題はありません。

 

ママ友はいてもいなくてもどちらでもいい、くらいに気楽に考えていきましょう。

ママ友のメリット・デメリット

個人的な友人関係とは違いママ友は子どもだけでつながっている関係です。

「友」という文字からママ友=親しいつきあい、を想像しがちですがむしろドライな関係ともいえます。

 

もちろんママ友を作ることで大変な育児の時期を乗り切れたりすることもまた事実。

反面、ママ友特有のトラブルもあります。

 

ここからはママ友つきあいのメリット・デメリットを具体的にみていきましょう。

ママ友のメリット

ママ友を持つメリットは以下のものになります。

ママ友のメリット

・さまざまな情報をいち早く知ることができる
・子育ての情報交換ができる
・旦那には言えない愚痴を話し合うことでストレス発散できる
・仕事や体調不良の時に助け合える
・育児や教育の相談に乗ってもらえる、共有できる

 

特にワンオペなどで頑張っているママにとってママ友は戦友とも呼べる存在。
体調不良やトラブルを抱えた時などにママ友に助けられた経験を持つ人も多くいます。

ママ友のデメリット

ママ友を持つデメリットは以下のものになります。

ママ友のデメリット

・グループLINEに返信しないといけないのが大変
・プライベートのことまで立ち入られるのが困る
・ママ友と性格が合わないけれど子ども同士は仲がいいので我慢している
・しょっちゅうママ友の子どもが遊びに来る
・頻繁にランチやお茶に誘われるので出費がかさむ

これらは実際に起きているママ友トラブルの一例です。

 

 

小学生になると子供だけで遊ぶようになるのですが

親同伴で遊ぶことの多い幼稚園・保育園のうちは

ママ友つきあい=子ども同士の関係という面もあるため大変です。

ママ友の作り方

皆さん、ママ友をどこで作っているのでしょうね?

ママ友を作った場所は以下のところが多いようです。

ママ友を作る場所

・幼稚園、保育園、学校およびそれらの役員活動
・地域のサークル
・習い事
・古くからの知人
・公園

何回か顔を合わせて挨拶をしているうちに親しくなるパターンがほとんどです。

子ども同士が仲良くなって、という場合も多いようです。

 

ママ友とのつきあい方のコツ

どのような人間関係にもいえることですが最終的には相性の良し悪しですよね。

ただしママ友グループでは以下のような人にご注意を。

要注意なママ友の特徴

①話が長い人
②悪口や噂話ばかりいう人
③自慢話ばかりの人
④すぐにマウンティングしようとする人
⑤LINEなどのSNSや電話で頻繁に連絡してくる人
⑥常に一緒に行動したがる人

これらのことを裏返すとそのまま上手につきあうコツになります。

 

ママ友との付き合い方

①話はあいさつ程度に短くする
②悪口や噂話は聞き役に徹する
③自慢話は適当に聞き流す
④話を振られても同調しない
⑤LINEのグループを抜ける、電話に出られない理由を伝える
⑥少しの間だけでも口実を作って距離を置く

とはいえママ友グループと距離を置くと孤独感や疎外感を感じてしまう人もいます。

困った時に誰にも相談できないのもきついですよね。

 

そこでおすすめしたいのが仲のいいママ友を一人だけ作ること。

意外とママ友グループに苦手意識を持っているママは多いので共感し合えるママ友ができるはずです。

 

ちょっと相談したりなにかを確認し合ったりできる人が1人いると心強いですよ。

「ママ友はいなくても大丈夫?子どもへの影響は?ママ友つきあいのコツ教えます」まとめ

働くママが多い昨今ではママ友を作る時間がないという人も増えました。

アンケートによるとママ友がいない人も珍しくありません。

 

ママ友のつきあいが子供に影響することはほとんどありませんので自分本位でつきあう人やつきあい方を決めましょう。

 

ママが元気・笑顔でいることがないよりいちばん大切なのですから。

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